The divorce mediation process allows a couple to develop an agreement that addresses all areas of their divorce: child custody, a parenting plan, division of marital assets and debts, child support and spousal support (alimony), in an amicable, timely and cost-effective manner. But what exactly does a divorce mediator do? And more importantly, what are the limits of the role of a divorce mediator?
A divorce mediator is a neutral third party trained to facilitate communication between divorcing spouses and help them reach agreements on various issues that are spelled out in detail in your divorce agreement. Mediators help reduce the emotional tension between the parties, creating a safe and respectful environment for both sides to communicate their concerns. They ensure that conversations remain focused on finding solutions for the present and future, not on rehashing past grievances. Most importantly, a mediator provides structure and helps break down an overwhelming process into smaller, more manageable, steps. This structure is crucial to keep things on track and ensure that important topics are not overlooked. Mediators do not make decisions for the parties, but they are experts in problem-solving techniques. They encourage both spouses to explore different options and look for creative solutions and find common ground. In divorce mediation, a couple can create an agreement that makes sense for their unique situation, not merely a cookie-cutter fill-in-the-blank document.
A primary difference between using divorce attorneys and a divorce mediator is that the divorce mediator is neutral and not on either party’s side. The mediator’s role is to facilitate a fair and equitable discussion, ensuring that no one is given special treatment, making it easier for the parties to work together toward resolution. A discussion that is possible because of the presence of a third party neutral. This is why couples can make progress in mediation even after having had this same discussion on their own, when it was just the two of them. Once an agreement is reached, the mediator can help both parties formalize the terms in writing.
The divorce mediator at Westfield Mediation, LLC, crafts an agreement, called a Memorandum of Understanding, that is clear and easy to understand in everyday language. The divorce mediator does not give legal advice but can provide general information about the divorce process and how the court system works in New Jersey regarding a divorce. If a person wants specific legal advice, they need to consult their own attorneys.
It is important to understand the limits of a divorce mediator’s role. This helps avoid confusion or disappointment about unmet expectations. A divorce mediator cannot impose a solution and make a final decision for the parties. If a couple cannot reach an agreement through the mediation process, the case will go to court as a contested divorce, where a judge will make decisions on their behalf. Divorce mediators cannot provide legal advice or advocate for one party over another. They cannot tell you what is in your best interest from a legal standpoint or interpret laws in the way a lawyer would. Mediators do strongly recommend that parties consult with an attorney to receive this legal advice before finalizing any agreements. A mediator does not file any paperwork with the court or accompany the clients to court. The mediator can refer clients to collateral contacts who can fulfill this role.
A divorce mediator offers a calm and soothing presence during a stressful, emotional time. However, the mediator does not provide emotional or psychological counseling. A mediator can offer names of therapists who can provide this support. A mediator cannot force either party to agree to a settlement. The process of mediation relies on voluntary cooperation from both sides. If either spouse is unwilling to negotiate or reach an agreement, the mediator cannot compel them to do so.
Mediation is a cooperative process that benefits many people. However, it is not the perfect fit for everyone. Divorce mediation may be unsuitable in cases involving domestic violence or when one party is unwilling to participate in the process.
Divorce mediation can be an excellent tool for couples looking to resolve their issues in a more cooperative and cost-effective manner than traditional litigation. Understanding what a divorce mediator can and cannot do is essential for managing expectations and ensuring the process is productive. While a mediator helps guide discussions and facilitate agreement, they cannot make binding decisions or offer legal advice. Divorcing couples can make informed decisions and move forward with their lives in a more positive and constructive way by using a divorce mediator.
