Happy Belated Father’s Day! I hope you had a fun day being celebrated by your children. I hope that if you are divorced, you and your co-parent had previously agreed upon how you and your children were spending Father’s Day. If this day (and Mother’s Day as well) is not designated in your parenting plan as part of your divorce agreement then the day may not be so fun. What if your co-parent wants the kids to spend time with her father, the children’s grandfather, on Father’s Day and it is her parenting time all day on Sunday? What if her Father’s Day plans, which is adhering to your established parenting schedule, does not leave time for you to be with your kids?
At Westfield Mediation, LLC, during the divorce process we help you schedule how the children are spending their time on a day-to-day basis, special occasions, holidays and vacations. The divorce mediator will review with the co-parents what days they want to designate as holidays or special occasions that will usurp the regular parenting schedule. Perhaps Father’s Day (and/or Mother’s Day) will be shared between the co-parents so the children can see the grandparents on the other side of the family or spend time with their new step-father (or step-mother). Usually during the course of mediation, parents readily agree on how to spend these special days, considering what they have done in the past and is best for the kids moving forward. Many times, a father does not want to deny his children from seeing their grandfather for part of the day, if this is what they have always done and all the cousins will be there as well. The parenting plan can be written so that a father is assured of spending part of Father’s Day with his children while also allowing the children to continue with some previously established family gathering, that now moving forward will not include their father.
Holidays that are not typically shared, such as Father’s Day (Mother’s Day and Parents’ Birthdays as well), are a good starting point for discussion about holidays. They seem to be less contentious and co-parents tend to address them in a very rational manner. Some of the other holidays (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas) can lead to a livelier discussion. However, this too can be handled in divorce mediation. Co-parents will alwaysknow what to expect about how their children are spending their time on these special days.
