The date you choose to actually divide your assets when getting a divorce can determine the amounts each person receives, which can be very confusing to many people.  This issue is addressed during the process of divorce mediation but executed outside of mediation.  To add to the confusion, there can be different dates for different assets.  You can divide your joint bank accounts once you start living apart but before your divorce is official and your retirement accounts on the date the divorce is finalized in court. You can also pick one date to apply to all assets.  You can backtrack to the day you separated a year ago or pick the date that one of you files for divorce. The state of New Jersey allows you some flexibility with these decisions and you can determine what works best for your situation.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, this is an issue that is clearly addressed during the divorce mediation process.  But it seems like it is not truly understood until the parties execute the plan.  You agree in mediation that you will each receive 50% of the proceeds from the sale of the home.  But until the house sells and you pay the mortgage, real estate commission, and any closing costs will know you exactly what this number amounts to be. You thought that each of you would receive $108,000. But it may be $109,679 each or $98,321 or $117,058. It may be more or less than you expected or was agreed upon in mediation.  Sometimes you have to use other assets to balance out the differential in the actual receipt of funds from the sale of the marital home.  There may have to be some rebalancing of other accounts to offset the difference.

This can be perplexing to people.  They leave mediation with one number in mind but the reality of the numbers is different than the numbers on paper. Nobody is cheating anyone.  Numbers need to be recalibrated to reflect the value on the date decided in mediation.  If the stock market soars or plummets between the time you complete mediation and the date your divorce is finalized and you are dividing your investment account to balance out the retirement accounts on the date the divorce is finalized, all of those amounts have probably changed.  The balance sheet you create in mediation is a snapshot of your portfolio.  The real numbers are dependent on the date you choose in mediation.  And that can be confusing.