Deciding to end a marriage is rarely simple and figuring out how to navigate the divorce process can feel just as overwhelming. Usually two people are not on the exact same level when considering a divorce. Even when both parties are leaning out of the marriage one person may want to get a divorce more than the other. For many couples in New Jersey, divorce mediation offers a calmer, faster, and far more cost-effective alternative to litigating in court. This is a reasonable path when both parties are willing to participate in the process

But what happens when only one person wants a divorce and the other person wants to stay married? This is common. The person leaning into the marriage may not be interested in discussing a divorce. The person leaning out of the marriage is eager to start the divorce process.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we offer a one-time thirty-minute consultation for the one person ready to learn more about the divorce process in New Jersey and the divorce mediation process. This is the only time during the divorce mediation process that the divorce mediator meets with just one party. An initial consultation acts as a low-pressure opportunity to learn about divorce, mediation and ask questions.

There are several reasons why a consultation can be helpful. If you are unfamiliar with the difference between divorce mediation and court litigation, a consultation is an ideal starting point. The mediator walks you through how mediation works in New Jersey—covering parenting plans, division of marital assets and debts, spousal support (alimony) and child support—so you know exactly what to expect when you both begin divorce mediation. If you want a clear picture of how many sessions your divorce might take, how pay-as-you-go hourly billing works without requiring a massive retainer, or how virtual vs. in-person appointments work, a consultation gives you complete financial and operational clarity before you make any commitment.

It is quite common for one partner to be more eager to mediate than the other. Your spouse may be worried that mediation will not be fair or fears being coerced into an agreement. The intent is for the person who came to the consultation to relay the information gathered back to the more reluctant spouse. The hope is that the more reluctant spouse realizes that they are getting a divorce and mediation is the best means of resolving their issues and reaching a fair and equitable divorce agreement.

While consultations are incredibly helpful for many, they are not always necessary. In certain situations, skipping the initial consultation and scheduling your first working session directly is the most efficient choice. If you and your spouse have already agreed to use mediation for your divorce then the first meeting covers all of the information shared during the consultation. During that first meeting the divorce mediator explains how the court process works when getting a divorce, how mediation works and how it is different from some other ways of getting a divorce, and how Westfield Mediation works (this is what a mediator can and cannot do for you). We address any questions you may have, and we make plans for future meetings.

While a consultation can help determine next steps, it is also important to note that divorce mediation is not appropriate for every marriage. Divorce mediation is not warranted if there is a history of Domestic Violence. If there is an ongoing restraining order or an unsafe dynamic where one party cannot speak freely or advocate for themselves, mediation is not a safe or legal fit. Mediation requires full, voluntary financial disclosure. If one spouse is actively concealing accounts, debt, or income, traditional legal channels are necessary to subpoena records.

Every family’s dynamic is unique. Whether you need a dedicated consultation to answer your preliminary questions or are ready to schedule your first mediation session, Westfield Mediation is here to guide you through a calm, respectful, and structured divorce process. Understanding whether an initial consultation is warranted in your specific situation can help you save time, reduce stress, and get on the right path forward from day one.